Last Saturday our family celebrated Gray's first birthday. This birthday was special not only because it was his first, but also because Gray is a constant visible reminder of God's grace in our lives.
You see, the story does not start with Gray; rather, it starts years before Gray was even thought about. In fact had we continued down the path we were going Gray would have never been born. If you happen to glance upon our family of six you cannot help but notice a significant gap between Kyle (our next youngest) who turns 8 on Saturday and Gray. It is not uncommon for me and my wife to receive comments such as, "Oops” or “I guess he was a surprise,” but in reality nothing could be further from the truth.
The fact is shortly after Kyle was born Kim and I decided we had the perfect family. We had three kids (two girls and a boy), a house with a nice backyard not to mention a spirited little dog - we had the "American Dream." We had our plans and those plans did not include another child. So with the help of a doctor we took actions to prevent any interruptions into our plans and our way of life. Afterward on the surface life was good, but underneath we lacked joy. We were running from God's call on our life - living for this world rather than His kingdom.
After three years of running from obeying God call on our lives I started seminary. Though we thought we had arrived at the place God wanted us in surrender to Him and pursuing His kingdom we had only scratched the surface of His working on us. The next two years God broke us of many things and called us to serve Him cross-culturally, but even that was not the biggest shift in our world or worldview. No, the Lord was leading us into a major shift in priorities as well as worldviews.
By 2008 Kim and I knew without a doubt we had made a mistake. Though we were accustomed to making mistakes none were as life altering and significant as when we had decided to have the vasectomy. Troubled by our sin, we sought the Lord and He confirmed for us we should have the vasectomy reversed. Of course thoughts of pain, discomfort, and cost riddled my head at the idea, but the thought of not obeying seemed more painful and troubling. The decision led us to a surgeon in Oklahoma who performed them at an extremely reasonable rate because he viewed it as a ministry to families.
I had just turned 37 and there was almost six years between the two surgeries, all of which are considered hindering factors in the success of the surgery. However, in the spring of 2009 we traveled to Oklahoma and had the procedure done. By the grace of God Kim was pregnant in the fall that same year. Rarely does a couple have success that quickly after the surgery, praise the Lord! He is faithful!
What is the miracle of Gray? The miracle of Gray is God’s faithfulness! Through the process God has opened our eyes and refocused our lives, our pursuits, our desires, and our goals. Not only as a husband and wife or father and mother, but also as His children called to serve Him and trust Him. The miracle of Gray is coming out of the desert of disbelief into the journey of faith, trusting our Lord Jesus Christ, believing He is who He said He is and He will do what He has said He will do. The miracle of Gray is learning to understand Him more, love Him more, and pursue Him more. Caring less and less about the fleeting pleasures of this world, we want to "seek Him first and His righteousness," (Matthew 6:33a) trusting Him with our family knowing He, not us, will take care of our every need, “and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33b)
